what I need to hear

why can't people be telepathic?
my friends magically sense what I need to hear.
Then just say it.They don't necesarily have to underrstand what or why just say the right thing.
My Mom does this annoying thins when I am upset by saying you have to explain it to me, I'm not telepathic. It drives me nuts, she misses things I think are so blatantly obvious and she should just know what is wrong.

I can't tell you, you wouldn't understand, but I wish you could say what I need to hear.

99 little nothings

001. Real name → Morgan
002. Nickname(s)→ I'm not gonna give anyone ideas
003. Zodiac sign → virgo
004. Male or female → female
005. Elementary → SFS/OFS/BFS/Lakeridge
006. Middle School → FR
007. High School → FR
008. Hair color → brown
009. Long or short → longish?
010. Loud or Quiet → loud
011. Sweats or Jeans → sweats
012. Phone or Camera → camera
013. Health freak → my mom is
014. Drink or Smoke? → nuh-uh
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → nope
016. Eat or Drink → EAT!
017. Piercings → ears
018. Tattoos → only where you won't see them jk jk

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane→ I basically live on them
020. Been in a relationship → yea
021. Been in a car accident → not anything life threatening
022. Been in a fist fight → semi-accidentally

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → ears
024. First best friend → Daron Mackie
025. First award → there are way too many
026. First crush → honestly don't remember
028. First big vacation → Mexico (I was 6 mo. old)

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → my dad
030. Last person you texted → Nan!
031. Last person you watched a movie with → Tessypoo
032. Last food you ate → Chili
033. Last movie you watched → a bad airplane movie
034. Last song you listened to →
035. Last thing you bought → earings off the street
036. Last person you hugged → Arthur

FAVES:
037. Food → everything
038. Drinks → foreign coke, Fresca, Chai, Tea
039. Clothing → sweats
040. Books → A Long Way Gone & The Truth About Forever
041. Musics → almost everything
042. Flower → jasmine
043. Colors → depends on my mood
044. Movies → chick flicks
046. Subjects → science, history
047. [X] kissed in the snow
048. [X] celebrated Halloween
049. [X] had your heart broken
050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [X] someone questioned your sexual orientation (Freshmen ;)
052. [] came out of the closet
053. [] gotten pregnant
054. [] had an abortion
055. [X] done something you've regretted
056. [X] broke a promise
057. [X] hid a secret
058. [X pretended to be happy
059. [X] met someone who changed your life
060. [X] pretended to be sick
061. [X] left the country
062. [X] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [X] cried over the silliest thing
064. [X] ran a mile
065. [X] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → nothin
068. Drinking → milk
069. I'm about to→ sleep
070. Listening to → tv
071. Plans for today → sleep
t072. Waiting for → high school to end

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → hell yes
074. Want to get married? → yep
075. Careers in mind → Doctor, Journalist, Non-Profit Something

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
076. Lips or eyes → eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → taller
078. Romantic or spontaneous → both
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → stomach
080. Sensitive or loud → depends
081. Hook-up or relationship → doesn't matter
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → both
084. Ran away from home → yes, I was home in a few hours
085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → no
086. Killed somebody → no
087. Broken someone's heart → not intentionally
088. Been arrested → no, but I have high hopes
089. Cried when someone died → yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → mostly
091. Miracles → yea
092. Love at first sight → yea
093. Heaven → I would rather be reincarnated
094. Santa Claus → I wishI did
095. Sex on the first date → well that hasn't been an issue
096. Kiss on the first date → yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now?→ yea
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → depends
099. Do you believe in God → I want to

Vacation Hangover

I am sick tired and don't want to be here
and I was happy,
happier than I have been in a long time
there was so much hope and love
there were colors
vibrant beautiful life

and I have to return to a place
not a home desolate
if only sheer force of will could keep me there
a taste of a different life makes it harder to bere

hold your head up
keep your mouth shut
don't think too much
you'll survive

basket of memories

thats all I have left now
memories of the past
of love, hope, joy
I'll treasure them
keep them safe

Only If

we'd be together and in love
head over heels passionatly in love

we'd have two more years of school
then work, a nurse and a vet

we'd be married before twenty
a kid within the next year

we'd have your family
people who love us all around

we'd be a blue prince and princess
fairytale love

we'd be happy
only if

in the spirit of valentine's day

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
-Mark Twain

When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.
- Dr Seuss

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
- Franklin P. Jones

A dream is a wish your heart makes.
- Cinderella

Life is like a box of choclates, you never know what your gonna get.
- Forest Gump

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
- Moulin Rouge

Please come with me,

See what I see.

Touch the stars for time will not flee.

Can you see?

And he said take my hand,

Live while you can

Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am leaving on SATURDAY! I might not come back ;)

your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand

I love my kids, I don't think I have mentioned that recently enough. I have this one kid Anders who is not very nice to the girls or anyone really, except his friend Tate. I explained to him that while he thinks girls are gross now eventually he won't think that and eventually he will want to date said girls because they are going to be awesome swimming girls. Which lead everyone to laugh and Anders is much nicer to the girls, I have skills. Those kids are freaking amazing!

and, and the new assistant coach is pretty damn cutie

it was a good day

Sweet Innocence

a place, a smell, a memory....

the scent of chlorine lingering on our skin
tanlines that would never fade
tingling feelings and butterflies

your face looming closer
so nervious you almost missed

green tinted hair stuck to both our faces
a drop running down your nose
we giggled and fell into the grass

we'd be together forever
so full of inocence and hope
you took my hand
this time you didn't miss

when did things become past tense?

Goodnight to the TV and the clocks
To the rain that never stops
Goodnight to everyone I know
Shut my eyes and let 'em go
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did things get here?
How did they change this much this fast?
I miss you - I miss the way you were, before
that seems so long ago
I miss the way it was yesterday
when there was a little more hope, a little more life
*insert a lot of four letter words*
and there is nothing I can do to fix this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Goodnight to the person I have been
To the place that I am in
Goodnight tomorrow, hello to the sun
Are your ready? Here I come
- Goodnight, Zox

We'd cross the deepest oceans

We'd cross the deepest oceans, Cargo across the sea

And if you don't believe me, Just put your hands on me

And all the constellations

Shine down for us to see

And if you don't believe me , Just put your hands on me

Someday when our stories are told

They'll tell of a love like this

When our descendents are all growing old

1,000 years they'll be singing

We'll climb Tibetan mountains

Where we can barely breathe

I'll see the Dali Lama, I'll feel him blessing me

And all the constellations

Shine down for us to see

And if you don't believe me, Just put your hands on me

Your hands on me...

~ Hands on Me Vanessa Carlton

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

That seems to be the pattern of my life right now, I just have to make it to break. Then I can run a few hundred miles away to a place where they don't speak my language. Just when I think things have gotten a bit better they get a lot worse. This is one thing that leaving won't fix. Starting over sucks, especially when you loose progress.

Puzzle Pieces

we opened up the box
beginning at the edges
before it was finished
you saw the whole picture

before I knew if I wanted you to see
the missing and broken pieces
you don't care,
your puzzle is just as broken as mine

you understand
and I understand too

Killing Time

that is a horrible phrase! Time shouldn't be killed it should be cherished. People aren't blessed with forever carpe diem

Growing Up

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright

And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses
- White Houses, Vanessa Carlton

I feel like I'm growing up, changing. I'm not the little girl that I was my idealism hit the world and the world hit back, hard. I have this feeling of just being- not being anything just being here.
I want to feel alive! I want to accomplish something, make a change. Be laughing, crying, helping, hurting, loving, hating or doing something stupid I would regret the morning after.

Goodbyes

a look,
something odd in your face

a kiss
your lips brushed mine - you seemed different

a glance,
over your shoulder - did you mean it?

a smile,
without that twinkle in your eyes

a trip,
you promised to return

a step,
onto the train - vanishing in a crowd of people

no return,
no goodbye,
not again

to row or not to row

that is the real question, none of this to be or not to be crap
what the hell is wrong with me: why is this such a freaking hard decision!
its not like its going to affect the rest of my life or anything- well I'm pretty sure it's not
and I am tired of thinking and talking about it so I'm sure everyone else is too
and as I agonize over it things pass me by, life is happening as I try to make up my mind and I am missing it. If its this hard to convince myself to do something mabey I shouldn't,
I have no idea

Beautiful Disaster

I love that phrase. its pretty works right now. I finnished my history paper but I still have to do a bunch of my YES stuff, great! and I am in serious pain and I have crew tomorrow dear god OUCH! but Anna called because she wanted to make sure I was rowing I still can't decide if I am but I miss her so I will go on Monday.

Life will get better very soon