Growing Up

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright

And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses
- White Houses, Vanessa Carlton

I feel like I'm growing up, changing. I'm not the little girl that I was my idealism hit the world and the world hit back, hard. I have this feeling of just being- not being anything just being here.
I want to feel alive! I want to accomplish something, make a change. Be laughing, crying, helping, hurting, loving, hating or doing something stupid I would regret the morning after.