Walking Man

March 5, 2008

Slowly he walks ,
backpack in hand
no end in sight,
each day is a struggle,
so he walks- moving slowly
his shoes, worn and beaten, make a soft shuffle as he walks,
he is the walking man

He walks through the cold, snow and sleet
People run past in a blur
He is barley a glimpse in their day
He remembers their faces
Thought they forget his
He is the walking man

He has no home to return to
No family to miss him
No one to wonder where he went
He is a nobody- forgotten, invisible
Alone but for me,
I see the walking man

This poem is about a walk I went on I was walking around and infront of me was a homeless man he had everything he owned in his backpack and was meandering the path, I walked behind him for awhile then we started talking.

Thank You

thank you india

thank you terror

thank you disillusionment

thank you frailty

thank you consequence

thank you thank you silence

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thank you confusion

thank you suffering

thank you for the hurt

thank you hunger

.

how bout falling

how bout flying

how bout loving unconditionally

how bout learning to forgive yourself

.

thank you airplanes

thank you sickness

thank you for hardship
thank you lonliness

.

how bout giving love away

how bout ending war

how bout helping the poor

how bout allowing yourself to be free

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how bout no longer being masochistic

how bout remembering your divinity

how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes ouy

how bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india

thank you providence

thank you disillusionment

thank you nothingness

thank you clarity

thank you thank you silence

- Thank You, Alanis Morissette

These are a few of my favorite things

more specifically things that made me happy today

• The Seattle Public Library - its so pretty and quiet and full of books! (the Freemasons definitely stole their secret books!)
• Red Latte's at Seattle's Best- Rooibos Latte YUM!, you should get one too
• Getting an extra cent of change - the lady at Seattle's best liked me because we used to go to her coffee stand in Roche Harbor
• A homeless woman who loves to read- Mykaila and I saw a woman from Hammond House at the Library
• BOOKS!
• New Music
• Buying a CD for a penny - Crazy Right?
• Making a new friend - she is very cool and in my Drivers Ed class, her name is Hannah and she has no choice we are going to be great friends :)
• Finding a penny
• The Interconnectedness of the world- my new friend Hannah's Dad also works for Costco and they lived in Japan with Costco AND they know friends of my parents AND Hannah went to South Africa in 2008
• homework progress - I finally stopped procrastinating and just did it
• Mykaila- I love you!
• Texting Conversations - Nuff Said
• cookies- especially chocolate chip ones
• No school tomorrow - that's always a plus
• Looking like I speak Thai - a man began speaking to me in Thai, I am guessing its because I was wearing my amulet
• Friends - I love all of them!
• Random Hugging- need I say more?

Resolutions

Its the time of the year where people make resolutions. They resolve to be better people, loose weight, find love, do some thing new. I like others made resolutions each year. For about a week its great,
I feel like I am becoming a better person, early in the next week after life has returned to its normal hussle and bussle those resolutions go out the window to be made again the next year. Then not even a month into the new year I have failed, not a great beginning. This year instead of resolutions I have goals for the year, and any resolution I made last year I can't make again.
So my New Years Goals Are:

• to remember to enjoy the little things
• to spend more time with friends- just for fun
• to be outside more offen
• to read books that aren't for school
• to take things as they come and not let the little things, or the things I can't change bother me

and to do all this I will have to do less procrastinating homework. I made that one last year, oh well, I'm not perfect.

I heard she went to find god in the Indian sub-continent

Alice was a poser
The kind who'd take her clothes off
And sit in a room full of frozen faces
I heard she went to find God
In the Indian sub-continent
It's mad she had to go so far
- Sparkle Me, The Buffseeds

this song encapsulates my feelings right now. I feel like my life is fake and unfulfilled and I have no idea why I feel weird about it because I have no idea where it came from. I have this weird feeling of wanting to run off to India and I have no I idea why India but I have this itch I need to go. Its insane why do I think I need to travel across the world for answers.

My solutions always involve running off to other continents, a psychologist could have fun with that. Africa would work too I just wish I was not here, and all my reasons for staying seem insignificant.

Expectations

I expected things not big things, nothing extrordinary
and I didn't get them
I am trying not to be disapointed- why should I be?
there seems to be something different with you and me
did I change or did you?

Happy Endings

I thought after the begining
when we reached the middle
things would get easier

instead of the ups and downs of a rollercoaster
life would fall into a contented pattern

I hoped this would be the begining
of an era of happieness together

It isn't
but that doesn't change how I feel about you
and I am still waiting for our happy ending